I hate waking up in the morning.

Don't you hate when you're sleeping really good, having a wonderful dream about life - you're rich, married to somebody you love, and living the good life, then you wake up? I hate that feeling. That's how I feel sort of right now. Such a switch, right? I don't know. I always seem to think myself into being sad, or into feeling depressed about something. Here my mind goes, again. It never seems to fail me. What am I going to with my life? I mean, I know I have a plan, but whose to say my plan will work out like I want it to?

Then there's the pressure from my family, which is about where the majority of my stress comes from. I don't think they realize how much pressure they put on me. I'm expected to be and do soooo much, which I think is kind of unfair. My mother was just telling me today about how if I was to get pregnant, her, my dad, and my grandparents would all be heartbroken, yadda yadda. I'm like, are you serious? What about me? What about how I feel about my life? Does that not matter to you at all?

And how I dread my father coming home and finding out that I have a boyfriend. I can see it now, and it doesn't look good. I can see him trying to break us up, and I'm going to be super mad. It's like, he wants to control my life to be how he wants me to do, and anything that's not apart of that is wrong and I need to stay away from it. I already know how he feels about me even talking to guys let alone being in a relationship. His thing is, he thinks it's going to pull me away from school, and distract me. He figures if it's not going to help me get into school, it's going to take away. All my family thinks the same thing. That's sooooo unfair. Like, am I really expected to not have a social life? I like boys, lol. I love them, and I'm going to be involed with them, period. I figure if I'm getting what I need to get done, done - we shouldn't have any problems. I understand that they want to protect me, but how far do you really think you can protect me? I'm not a computer, don't expect me to spit out grades and whatnot on command, it's not happening. So yea, Novemember, we're in for it, lol. If my relationship status changes on facebook, you know why. =\

I'm on the phone with my baby, peash.