So much has happened since the last time I was here it's ridiculous. I'd be typing for days trying to get all of it down here. Lately though, my.. I guess, "Love Life" has been an - interesting one. But again, I'm not even sure If I can call it a Love Life. Somebody who I thought I had a promising future with turned out to be nothing more than another disappointment... I was for sure this time that some how we were going to work it out, and eventually be this amazing duet. But I've learned that I have to let go of that situation. My high school days are over, and I realized that I have to let go of my high school dreams. I don't know. Love is a strange thing, but love isn't always enough - this was a clear example of that. My trust had been abused to the point that I don't think it could be repaired. I forgive, but I don't forget. And with that, I have to walk away.
Now I've done this whole single thing for about a year now as well. Well, the whole 'single but not single' thing. And I think I'm starting to get sick of it. I'm getting to the point now where I'm feeling myself want to be apart of something more than some.. 'thing' I can never give a name to. I've done that enough, and I think I'm done with it. The only thing is, I'm afraid I've already gotten myself back in the same situation that promises failure in the first place. I don't want to be that girl that demands this, and demands that, but I can't help how I feel. I'm wanting someone to call my own. I haven't felt this way in such a long time that it's weird to even think about. College is so complicated though. Especially since I'm here most of the time, but gone for 3 months straight in the summertime. Sometimes I want to just pull my hair out, lol. I'm being such a girl right now, and this shit is gay. I really, really don't know what to do with myself. I want something that's mine, and all mine. No if, ands, or buts. Maybe this whole thing is just a phase. I am a girl. And half the time, I don't know what I really want.
Ha.
