leave me the fuck alone.

Oh my God.

My mom won't leave me the fuck alone about these ho ass grades. We already had this conversation. Get the fuck out of my face. You're upset, I understand this. But check this out..this is MY life, these are MY grades.., and I'm effecting MY future. Leave me alone. Why is that shit so hard to understand. You're feelings are hurt? Fuck you're feelings, really. Why are you sad? They're my grades, and I made them, and they're isn't shit you can do to change that. You ned to be lucky I'm not like the rest of my friends and they're report cards. Shit, you'd be ready to kiss my damn feet. I'm talking 1.00s and shit... Amiri? Yea, want to know her GPA? 2.6. Yes. Amiri. The one you so often compare me to. The one who you say I should make good grades like. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not downing Amiri, and I love her to death - dammit, I'm not the only one at Renaissance High School whose struggling. All of us are. I hate this shit. I fuck up in a class, and everybody's on my dick about how they know I can do better. Fuck, I'm tearing up and shit..

This shit is really going to drive me nuts, I swear. Everybody depends on me to be the child in the family to be sooooo successful, and to never make mistakes, and to allllwayss get incredible grades, and blah this and that. I feel like everyone wants me to take care of the mistakes that happened when they were my age. Like, I HAVE to be this perfect student, who goes to this great school, who needs to get all these scholarships to pay for college because my parents can't pay for it alone, and who never gets in trouble. That's bullshit. I hate when people tell me they know how "smart" I am, and they know what I'm capable of doing. Yea right. Half the people who say that are full of it anyways. You obviously don't know shit about me. If I was as smart as you say I am, I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in now, dumbass. All I want to do it scream to the top of my lungs. I don't wanna say I can't handle the pressure, but damn man. It's harder than people realize. I don't even feel like I'm doing it for me anymore.

Then my moms is getting all these people to try and "talk some since into me". The fuck? Why in the world would you think I want to hear anything someone else has to say about my situation? I don't even want to hear what YOU have to say. My brother tries to tell me some bullshit about how moms is pissed off. Not to sound disrespectful or anything, but fuck how she feels. DID YALL NIGGAS EVER STOP TO THINK ABOUT HOW I FEEL!? Then she's like, "You don't even feel bad about it. You're too damn sarcastic about everything." Bitch, please. You have not the slightest clue about my feelings - you never do. I swear none of my family understands me, and that shit bothers me. Don't try to explain to me shit about how I feel about something. My physical appearance doesn't mean shit when it comes to my inside emotions. The clocks ticking to when she's going to tell my dad, then I'm going to have to hear his mouth, and listen to his sermon about "getting my grades together". Don't you people realize that I understand what I have to do. I'm not stupid. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that I can't have a D on my final transcript. NO SHIT. I DO NOT NEED YOU TO KEEP REPEATING YOURSELVES.

Fuck.

SHIT LIKE THIS MAKES TEENS TURN TO DRUG-DEALING, DRUG USING, AND SUICIDE. BE LUCKY YOUR CHILD ISN'T A DUMBASS. I GOT THIS.

They don't understand that nothing they say is going to want me to do better. The only thing that's going to drive me to take care of business is me. Fuck how the rest of you feel about it, really.

I'm sick of crying about this shit.

- your words mean nothing, so stop talking.