here we are again.

Omg, I am sooo irritated with life right now. If its not one thing, its always another. There's always something that I'm doing wrong no matter what. Your senior year of high school is supposed to be the easiest, wtf?

Everyday, me and my mom are arguing over college. Either it's about me having my college applications done, or some bullshit about scholarships. She acts like it's her ass going off to school. Do you not think this shit isn't stressful for me? Especially when I have her in my face constantly yelling, and nagging about what it is I should be doing, and what I'm not. I'm the one going off to school, I'm the one who has to fill out this applications, I'm the one who has to write essays and keep my grades together all at the same time. She makes it seem like I don't have essays for school to write every week, and like I don't have test to study for, and like I don't have homework practically every night. And to make things even more complicated, I have a hoe ass boyfriend now. Not saying my boyfriends a hoe ass nigga, but this shit is distracting as hell. Now I have to be the one to explain why I can't do this, and why I don't have time for that. Yes, It was my choice to have a boyfriend and get into a relationship, but damn! But real talk, that's not the worst of it. If I didn't have a boyfriend, she'd be doing the same thing, on my back 24/7. I can't take it, for the life of me I can't. She doesn't realize that all she's doing is making it worse, and making want to screw over things just to get it over with so that I don't have to hear her mouth. "Hurry up and do this"... "You need to get this done like right now..". Damn, man! Leave me alone! One thing I hate more than anything is to be rushed into doing something. I hate it with a burning passion. If you think rushing me to do something is going to make it happen faster, you've got another thing coming.

What the hell am I supposed to do? I feel so under pressure I can barely take it. My boyfriends really the only thing to take my mind off of it, but shit, that only lasts for so long. And its not like he can stay up late and talk to me like I want him to. I just wish for maybe one night, he can stay up with me, so that I can tell him what's really on my mind. Late at night is when my mind really needs to release, and he's not there to receive it. That's why I get so aggitated when he falls asleep, and its only like 12 midnight. I know he works early in the morning, and he needs his sleep, and Its mostly me being a brat, but damnnit I need that time, and I don't get it like I want it, as often as I want it. A nigga needs permanent relief.

I can't wait until this is all over with, and I can just go on with life. I never want to go through this again, ever. It's one of those times again - at time where I just want to fly to the sky by myself, and sleep on a cloud. Being by myself wouldn't even be so bad right about now. I'm practically alone in this anyways. The world will be fine without my feet being on earth for a little while. If only just for a little while.