rock steady.

I'm losing weight. Not good, not good at all. I don't know if I need to eat more, or if it's just from stress. [ heavy sigh ]. What's a girl to do? My grades are increasing slowly, which I guess is good. I just wish they would go up faster. Algebra, French, and Chemistry are getting slowly to where I want them to be. That's a relief. At least something is going right. You know what's funny about my life? When one thing is doing really good, there's that other area that sucks. "If it isn't one thing, it's another." That is too true.


Oh, I did I tell you my recent problem? I need somewhere to go this summer. No Disney folks. I'm not eligible. Do you know you have to be graduating from high school this year to go? How Gay is that? Ugh. I'm still going to try and go to Atlanta for that week art program, but I don't even know if I want to go to Atlanta for college anymore. My councilor made a good point, why go to Atlanta for your major when Chicago and New York are areas that capitalizes off this kind of work. I was like.. "Uhhh..". I initially used to think about going to school in Chicago or New York, but the cost of living is stupid expensive. I guess I shouldn't let something like that stop me, but I mean still. And plus, it's cold in Chicago and New York. :( I wanted to go somewhere warm. I had planned on getting far away from Detroit, and I'm sorry, Chicago isn't far enough. Don't get me wrong, Chicago is really nice, but I'm not ready for a winter there. And NEW YORK? Nigga, I'll be poor in New York, lol. I'll buy myself out a college tuition, and a home. =\. Then I thought about California, too. But again, the cost of living is crazy high. I'm going to be a college student, I'll be broke as it is. I'll have to talk to my daddy about it, and see what he says. And oh yea, Florida is still an option. My uncle doesn't recommend it though, he like, "Sun and beaches? You're born and raised in Detroit. China, we don't have sun and beaches in Detroit." Lol. I hate him. He thinks I'll be off focus. He might be right, ugh. You know what? I'm a wishy washy prick. As soon as I think I know what I want to do in life, it changes. This is very frustrating.


I'm thinking about adding another self portrait to my portfolio in Art class. We need 12 pieces, and I'm pretty sure I don't have that many, lol. At least not 12 finished pieces. I have an idea of what I'm going to do. Oh, I have a tattoo idea I'm thinking of too. I want to Photoshop it first to see how I like it on my body. I have to draw it up. If I do get it, I need to be absolutely sure that it's what I want. It's going to cost a lot, too. I'm still going to bug my mom about my getting my nose pierced. Sorry Sheila, you're not getting out of this one.

It needs to rain tonight, like thunderstorm and everything. It can be sunny in the morning, I just want it to storm tonight. Oh, Ace says I can buy love on Ebay. No luck, kid. I guess I'll have to look somewhere else, huh?

I think I've let you hear me write for long enough for one night. Ha, hear me write. I like that.

-pushing forward with or without your help