lets disappear

I want to be an X-man. =\
And have powers, and stuff, you know?
Like, you know Angel? That nigga is beautiful. Have you seen his wings?
UGH.

I'd kill for those.
But if I had one I'd have to pick, it would be Mystique.
I mean look at her. No homo, the bitch has sexy appeal - well
up until she got her powers zapped. Now she's all, normal and shit.
But yea, the mutant Mystique, she's hype nuts.

I want to move. Like, right now. I'm tired of Detroit. Period. Point. Blank.
How many times have I said this? Lol. There's is absolutely no reason I should stay here.
None whatsoever. I want to be the new person on the block, you know? The chick everybody see's and is like, "Oh shit, who is she?" "Oh, I don't know. She just moved here from Detroit." "Detroit? Oh, watch out for her, she might shoot you." LMAO. I want people to think that when they first see me, so I can show them how wrong they are. Yes, thats it.


I've been daydreaming all day, scratch that, all night. My iPods helped a lot with that, though. Oh God. I don't know how I survived without that thing for a month. [ kisses iPod ] I missed it. :(
I think every teenager to adult needs an iPod, or some kind of Mp3 player. We should be born with them. Like, when you're a baby, and you fall out your mothers vagina, an iPod should fall out with you. =\. True story.

Fucking Allergies are bugging the shit out of me. I been sneezing all day. :( And when I sneeze, my throat itches, and I have to make that nasty throat scratching noise. I was in class like, "Oh, God, please don't let me sneeze..." Ugh. I drew Mykel today in my sketchbook. Drawing people has to be my favorite things to draw. It looked just like him, too. Lol. I love that boy. Ole, affectionate ass.

"Put something on they mind, give em lines to remember.."

You know who I miss? Julia Chanel Adora Greenlaw. My baby sister. I haven't seen her in... wow a year. It was the last time daddy was home. I need to see her before she forgets who I am. She's so damn smart, she probably still knows, lol. I hope so. Cute ass. Little kids are amazing, I swear. Dude, why does time go by so fast? Unforgiving is what it really is. Time goes on no matter if you're here or not. Being able to control time would be nice too, you know.. as a power and stuff.


My mom keeps asking me what's wrong with me. "You're not your usual chippery self. Where's that little happy girl I've known for so long". I'm like, "She's on Hiatus." =\ . I appreciate her concern, it does show that she cares at least. Blah, what am I saying, she's my mother, she's supposed to care. Whatever. My throat hurts, stupid allergies.

I want to go awaaaaaaaaaaay!
GOD!
What am I wasting my time here for!?
...

I'm so impatient.

I want to leave. Walk right out, and never turn back, damnit. All by myself. Well, me and a few other things. I hate feeling trapped up somewhere, this shit is retarded. Me and Ryan was on the phone a few nights ago, and we were talking about the tattoo I was thinking about getting, a year from now btw. =\. I might end up changing my mind by then, but whatever, I'm thinking ahead. But he saw it, he's like "I guess you're supposed to be an angel or something." I'm like huh? Not at all. I had to explain to him that the symbolism of the wings had nothing to do with being an "Angel". I'm far from one of those. I'm not pure enough to be an Angel. I explained to him that the wings represent freedom, and un-boundness, if that's a word. It's symbolic not of Angel's and purity, but of being free spirited - hence the wings. Whenever I want to escape, I can fly away. That's what it means. Hopefully later I can earn my real wings.


I swear it looks like I'm getting smaller and smaller everyday. This shit is scary. If I get down to 130, I'm going to eat until I explode. =\. I haven't been 130 lbs in I don't know how long. Hopefully it's just stress. I can handle stress, not well, but I can deal with it. Being stress-free feels so good. I miss that feeling. When you're little, you don't stress about shit. You can't, lol, you have nothing to complain about. Very little responsibility. I kinda miss those days.

I have so much that I want to give, but don't know who wants to take it, and appreciate it.
-sigh

-until tomorrow