she's freaky, and she knows it.

Did you know half of the time, my titles are completely irrelevant to what I'm blog about? It's usually a line from a song I'm listening to. Completely random, I mean, that is if you cared to know or not. Yea, just wanted to clear that up, lol. So Ms, Troup's final tomorrow, I'm going to ACe the shit out of that bitch. The index card thing really helped. As long as she doesn't try and pull any funny business, I should be straight. Hopefully Ishak's final will be good too, I'm pretty confident that I'll do pretty good on that - eh, scratch that, I'll do decent, don't want to set the bar too high, lol. C or better!

Why is Justin Timberlake awesomely the shit? Me and my dad were in Jimmy Jazz the other day, and a Timberland and Timberlake song came on. He was bobbing and shit, lol. He's like who is this? I'm like "Justin Timberlake, duh." He refused to believe that Justin Timberlake could come up with any cold songs, ha, got you dad. Justin Timberlake is no longer that pretty little white boy from N'Sync. Yes fajah, JT owns.

Like my layout? :) Yes, I changed it again. This is probably temporary until I feel like doing anything more creative. That's my sister. Isn't she adorable? She's 3, and she comes up to my bellybutton. She's freaking huge, just like her sissy. We're so fine.. LAWD. She's going to get ALL the niggas when she gets older. -sigh.. Little heart breaker is what she's going to be - that is, If I can teach her the art of Macking. Lol, lemme stop. She's mad cute, though.

Keara cried today, ugh. It was about Amiri leaving on Saturday. I refuse to cry this early.. Keara almost got to me though. It's rough, man. Were going to go out to eat Friday, since that will be our last day to get to hang out and stuff. It's a really sad picture that I'm not going to be able to share my senior year with my best friend of 6 years. I hope she has fun down there though. UGH. I can feel me eyes swelling up with ho ass tears. STOP. Okay, lets move on.. enough with the gay shit.

You know what's crazy? How life seems to work it's way out. I guess this kind of pertains to fate and all that good shit. You know, like how you look back at things that have happened in your life, and you think back to how tough it was, be see that you made it through? Yea, that kind of thing. Even relationships. You think back like damn, "I was crazy about this person", or "Damn, I hated your ass". Man. I have so much of my life I want to live, and experience. As teenagers, we think we know so much. I do think I know a lot, but not as nearly as much as age is going to teach me. Me and Jay were talking the other day about Love and all that gay shit. He made a good point, too. He's like you look back at things and people and see how people used to throw around the word "Love" and tell a person that just because they were in a relationship. Like nigga, I didn't love you, wtf? At least the state of "being in Love" I mean. Like, what's the difference between caring for somebody, and Loving somebody? Is there even a difference? Eh, maybe there isn't a difference. -shrugs.

McKenzie, yea, you. I have to talk to you, Ms. Thing. But yea, that can wait until later.

Somebody tell me what I want. I have to be one of the most wishy washy-est people in the universe. For a few hours, I'll have everything planned out, and know exactly what I want to do with myself. Go to sleep, wake up, and then everything I thought I had tied down flies out the window. Maybe I'm over thinking situations again, over thinking leads to indecisiveness, which leads to what I'm going through now, confusion. Being confused sucks. The only thing I know ofr sure is what I don't want. How can someone who knows exactly what she doesn't want, not know what she does want? You know what? I want a lot. Maybe that's it. Then I begin to think I have too high expectations, and then I think "Fuck that." Hmm, I don't know. This shit probably sounds like jiberish to you, doesn't it? Yea, I'll stop rambling.

Understanding. That would be a very good start.

The second I think somebody understands me, I laugh, because then I realize they couldn't possibly understand me when I can barely understand myself. I'm weird, lol, REAL ASS TALK. Now wonder why I have so many male problems. That's one thing about me, I can get into a relationship, but to sustain one? Psh, Good luck. I'm destined to be alone forever, lol. Na, that's not true, at least I don't think so. People think it's easy, it's really not. I have yet to maintain a healthy stable relationship with a male. - DEEP SIGH. This shit gets frustrating after a while, you know? They work out, but something always ends up happening. Then there's always the one's who want to be with me so bad, who I never give a chance for whatever reason. Maybe I'm ignoring things I shouldn't ignore. Nah, thats not it. If I'm not passionate about something, it's inevitably going to fail, period. I can feel myself hardening again. Ugh, I really don't want to, but it always ends up happening. Remember Play Dough? Remember how if you didn't take care of it, and leave it out it would harden and then you couldn't play with it anymore because it was like playing with rocks? Yea. That's kind off it, but not all the way. I want what I need. Give me what I need, and I'll supply what you need. How hard is that to ask of somebody. It's a give and take. I'm not going to keep giving, and your not suppling, lol. YAHDEMEEN!? That's not to say that I'm not a generous person. Actually, many times I feel like I'm too nice, too forgiving. I set myself up to get taken advantage of, and after that, you know what happens? I KEEP GIVING ANYWAY LIKE AN ASSHOLE. It's my nature I guess. But of course, this only lasts for so long, and then eventually I have nothing left to give, then I leave. The story of my life, sad, I know, right?


But hey, everyone has there own problems, these are just mine. Mine are no more special then anyone else's I guess. This is not even the tip of the iceberg of what goes on in this noggin. I need to hire a secretary to come and organize all of the shit up there, ugh. I swear, I think so much sometimes I get headaches, lol. Sad, right? I'm starting to get one now, I can feel it. Hoe ass headaches, ruining my days and what not.

I was thinking today about all my friends. I have more than I thought I did, lol. Some are definitely more close than others, but I have a nice little gang of them. I Love all of them. All my friends aren't even friends, thats the funny part. It's a nice little mix, though. All of them are nerds, in my opinion, lol. Some are athletes, others are artists, some are dancers, and some are stupid smart. Man, separating is going to be sad next year. Maybe I will miss high school more than I thought I would. Hm, that's something to giggle about. A lot has happened from 9th grade to now. I think I'm going to make a list, not now, but later. It'll be fun to make.

This blog is getting lengthy. I'll cut it right here.

-Beaucoup de Amour